Obituary of Pilar Louise Thibodeau

Pilar Louise (Flores) Thibodeau, of Bangor, Maine, passed away peacefully surrounded by family on August 4, 2026. Born June 21, 1935, at Strong Place in Brooklyn, New York, she was the daughter of Alejandro and Antonia (Noble) Flores, who had moved to the city from San Juan, Puerto Rico. She met her husband, Gerald Edward Thibodeau, in Providence, Rhode Island, where they both attended college. Some of their earliest dates were at a nearby performing arts center where they once saw Louis Armstrong.

The first college graduate in her family, Pilar went on to teach third grade after completing her undergraduate degree at Barrington College. A year after they were married in Brooklyn in 1962, their first daughter was born. A few years and two more daughters later, Pilar and Gerry moved to Maine, settling in Bangor to raise their daughters and, later, a son.

Pilar’s life as a homemaker, as witnessed by all who knew her, was defined by service—to her family, to her church, and to those in need. While raising her children on outer Essex Street, she ensured they received a good education while exposing them to every opportunity available. From Girl Scouts, piano, and guitar lessons to horseback riding, gymnastics, swimming, drama, art lessons, camps, and sports, she made it all happen without batting an eye—and somehow, all without a car. She was a fantastic cook, providing three meals a day alongside home-baked desserts and a weekly, large Sunday dinner. Many had the pleasure of enjoying her homemade fudge and other treats.

Dedicated to her community, Pilar served in many ways. Most notably, she helped establish and maintain The Attic thrift store, where all proceeds benefit All Saints Catholic Church. The Pilar Thibodeau Volunteer of the Year Award was established to honor her generosity and commitment, recognizing her 35 years of voluntarily managing the store's day-to-day operations. Following her retirement from leadership, she continued volunteering until very recently, sorting donated buttons into fancy jam jars for low-cost crafting. Pilar also regularly hosted the "Hola Club" at her home, creating a welcoming space where local Spanish speakers gathered to speak and preserve their first language. Additionally, she actively served her community through the Dorothy Day Soup Kitchen, the Women’s Parish Council, and by knitting and crocheting for church fairs. She made booties and hats for premature babies, as well as washcloths, mittens, and scarves for just about everyone. Her grown children still treasure a stash of "Nana’s" warm, soft mittens—the kind that could be soaking wet from snow but still kept hands warm.

Once her children were grown and instilled with her fiercely independent nature, Pilar and Gerry moved to Brewer. There, she greatly enjoyed her grandchildren, who fondly remember her famous snack drawer featuring all their favorites, which evolved as they grew older. Beyond elaborate Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving feasts, Nana and Papa’s home became the ultimate destination for Halloween. Her grandkids met there for Jason’s pizza each year before trick-or-treating in the neighborhood and, later, helping give out candy at Nana’s door. During this period, countless wiffle balls were belted across that Brewer front lawn, miraculously never breaking a window. Her Brewer neighborhood was a favorite setting for family walks, bike rides, and scooter adventures. Pilar’s porch was lined with wind chimes, her kitchen window looked out to her bird feeders, and many summer barbecues were enjoyed on the screened porch around the cast iron table and chairs—the very same table her children played raucous games of spoons around while growing up on Essex Street.

Having grown up in New York City, Pilar retained a metropolitan taste for music, counting The Beatles, Willie Nelson, and local pianist Bill Trowell among her favorites. She and Gerry attended many musicals, enjoying Gilbert and Sullivan productions and trekking to the Lakewood Theater for shows like Fiddler on the Roof. Together, they traveled extensively with four kids in tow (at times with three teenage daughters!), including many family visits to NYC and Boston, as well as trips to Niagara Falls, New Orleans, and just about everywhere in between. Later in life, she and Gerry enjoyed trips to Florida and Southwest Harbor, and visited Greece and Italy. She loved libraries and was an avid reader who delighted in completing the Bangor Public Library bingo card. There was always a book close by. She also completed the daily crossword puzzle faithfully for many years.

Known affectionately as "Cookie" to her siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews, Pilar is survived by her husband, Gerry; daughters Anne Carchedi of Veazie, Jeannin Thibodeau of Sanford, and Mary Thibodeau of Ellsworth; son John Thibodeau of Portland; grandchildren Marie Samanas and her husband Nicholas, Katy Carchedi, Dev Amrit Khalsa, Shane Gagnon, Lucas Gagnon, and Emily Gagnon; great-grandsons Oliver Samanas and Archer Samanas; brother Richard Flores; and nine nieces and nephews. Pilar was preceded in death by her parents; sisters Dolores Kiesznowski and Margarita Peploski; brother Alex Flores II; and many dear friends.

The family is deeply thankful for the dedication and care provided by the staff at Winterberry Heights and Gentiva Hospice.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated 11 AM, Thursday, August 13, 2026, at St. Mary’s Church, 768 Ohio St., Bangor.  Burial will follow at Mt. Pleasant Cemetery, 449 Ohio St. After the burial, a reception will take place back at St. Mary’s Church. All are welcome.

She will be dearly missed.

Arrangements by Kiley & Foley Funeral Service, Bangor and Brewer.  Messages and memories may be shared with the family at kileyandfoley.com